Don’t worry, you aren’t seeing things! I know I just posted a blog yesterday and it’s absolutely unheard of for me to post back to back but I wanted to share with you about my awful run last night.
Yesterday was one of those days that seemed never-ending. (Much like today…hmmm.) Basically, it’s just been one of those weeks around here. I wanted to work in 3 runs this week before the race on Saturday and I still may be able to get the 3rd in tomorrow night. Last night was one of the times that I was dying to get out and go and it just seemed like everything was working against me. One reason I wanted to go was so I could try my new running clothes that I’m planning on wearing in the Crescent City Classic. If there’s nothing else you do before a race (besides train a lot, drink a lot of water, train some more, and eat right), please try out anything you have that’s new!! The last thing you want to do is find out 2 miles into a 10k that your pants are too baggy, that your shoes are rubbing your heels or your shirt is riding up. So, that was my big concern last night. I wanted to go run and see how the outfit felt, just in case I had to make an emergency trip to the post office to send it back!
Zoe was super tired. We had spent part of the morning on a field trip with Zach and she’d only had one nap. I just knew she’d go down fast and I could head out for a quick run and be back in no time, right? Wrong. Somehow, on days that she’s dead tired, she digs down deep and finds energy that I only wish I had. Long story short, it was after 9pm by the time she went to sleep, after 9:30 by the time I changed into my clothes and nearly 10 when I started my run. Added on to that was the extra awkwardness I felt because our school was just finishing a baseball game up and a zillion people were still there. I do not feel comfortable running when people are possibly looking at me. I know it’s silly but surely someone else feels that way too and that’s why I’m admitting it. (Now you know you aren’t alone. :)) Races are different. People are supposed to be watching you then. Training is a time when I don’t want to have an audience because sometimes I’m feeling like I’m dying and I know it shows. Other times, I’m feeling pretty great and I might sing or play the drums and that looks kind of weird too. So…it was a little awkward getting out there and running in new clothes with people everywhere that possibly knew me or my family, on a track and it was hot. Really hot.
Good news first: My clothes basically felt great. The only complaint I had was a pesky tag that kept sticking in my side like a knife the whole time. I’ll make sure it’s long gone by Saturday. Other good news was that the run itself, meaning the time (31:23) and pace (6:16/km), wasn’t awful after you factor in the heat and 81% humidity. Yes, 81%. I knew it was hot but had no clue that it was so humid until I got home.
Bad news: I started out in a semi-panic because of all the people there so that means that I took off running way too fast. You would think that now I’d say that after the first mile I finally settled down and found my comfort zone…but I didn’t. I ran like a crazy lady…a crazy, sweaty, oxygen deprived lady that felt like everybody there was staring at her. (Looking back, I’m pretty sure they weren’t.) At 3.98 km, I had decided to just quit. I was near the bleachers where I’d put my keys and I looked down at my Ipod and brought my thumb over to hit “stop”. “Don’t you dare stop!” was the sassy voice I heard coming deep from inside of me. Thank goodness “she” showed up! She quickly reminded me that I had tried all day to be right there – running. I was there for a reason and it was time to suck it up and finish what I started. She also reminded me that I would kick myself for stopping and, it’s true, I would have. I finished. It wasn’t pretty. It was ugly, in fact, but I did it and now I’m glad I did.
Sometimes we are going to be outside of our comfort zones and we have a choice to make: to push through it or stop. I’m really glad I pushed through, even though it wasn’t easy. I think we all have that little voice inside of us. I hope you’ll decide to listen to it when you think you can’t make it another step. You may be surprised at what you can do!
Comfort zones are most often expanded through discomfort.
~Peter McWilliams~
If you don’t step out of your comfort zone and face your fears, the number of situations that make you uncomfortable will keep growing.
~Theo Pistorius~
Filed under: Family, Running
